Marvin Hamlish the Broadway composer and lyricist wrote a song for Chorus Line, one of my favorite musicals. The song was called “What I did for love.” It begins with “ Kiss the day goodbye point me to tomorrow.. We did what we had to do, don’t regret, can’t forget, what I did for love..” The lyrics have always resounded within me when I reflect on my life, the successes and the failures. I remember those lyrics with a great understanding of what motivates most of us to take actions and risks in our lives. The love of doing what comes naturally… the love of being totally engaged in an activity that you crave doing. An activity that you do naturally and from the very essence of your being. And when you are doing it, you feel like it is effortless and time flies…
Therefore, when asked about the business and personal successes that I have had in my life, I always can say from my heart… they were born from “What I did for love.” It is where I found my energy.. My passion.. My own innate talent and skills… it is where I found what I was good at. It led me to be excited about life and look forward to each day.. to satisfaction and feeling fulfilled.
Now, as I counsel many who have reached a place in their midlives or careers that finds them bored, or unemployed, purposeless and scared, their souls tethered to the negativity of the voices inside their heads. I ask them to reflect upon the times in their lives that they were succeeding at doing something, shining, at their best. For sure there must have been a few, even if back when you were very young. Times when what you were doing made you feel good about yourself, times when you were satisfied or content… Go back to those times, those moments’. I say to them, how did you get there? What did you do? What were you doing and why were you good at it.? Everyone of us can remember at least a few times.. If only one! There in lies the key!!… And there is where the natural traits you had, exhibited themselves. And they showed you what you were great at! In assessing yourself, you look at your history and it’s there, hidden amongst life’s debris, memories and experience. If you can’t find any of these traits, or skills you excel at, you can ask your friends the ones that love you unconditionally… they will give you feedback on what comes naturally to you.
I go back to my 20’s early 30’s and I was a single mother who had to pay the rent and put food on the table. I took any job that would have me.. From barmaid, to saleslady, to bakery counter, selling hosiery, furniture and finally becoming an Executive Secretary, (they called it “Gal Friday” then!) and I was damn good at it! I could anticipate the needs of whomever I worked for, interpreting their style and what they needed to have, filling their needs and setting them free to do what they were good at doing.
I had learned through all of the many jobs, that I was very good at serving people, creating positive relationships and gaining their influence by taking care of what they wanted and needed help to do. I intuitively knew what a person might be feeling, and I could level with them even before I could figure out why I knew. It was organic to me. This made me feel valuable needed and appreciated.
I long ago knew that it was better to give than to receive and that I enjoyed giving, loving and caring about others. It brought me great joy and was not a burden for me. I worked hard at being authentic with my concerns as well as with my compliments. It was natural for me to be adaptable persuasive and nothing could hold me back; in fact nothing could stop me. No challenge that came in the way of this path was too big to say no to the person I was serving. I brought this to every position until I virtually stumbled on the travel industry. Here I could bring all those “service skills” to please people and fulfill their travel needs. I didn’t even need travel industry knowledge.. I could learn that, or employ people who had it… Here I could teach others how to communicate and form positive, trusting relations with customers, and fellow staff. No one had taught me that skill; it was imbued upon me from striving to please my parents at a young age.
My company honed a niche in Entertainment Travel for celebrities who were the hardest to please.. a niche that led to added value. It was viable and resilient during rough times because of this underlying current that kept it strong. The very keys to a viable and successful business that rendered a profit, customers and employees who were pleased and it rendered all that participated a purpose filled life.
And so, I begin to tell those that ask, to study themselves and what they do best. It’s there in your history. Find it and start doing it… first in a small way and the rest will come. I guarantee you… It is hard work. However, once you access the skill and the passion, then comes the energy to persevere.. Do it for love and the rest follows. The energy flows.. You pick up a pen and write, you paint that picture, you make that call, you dig the hole for the plant in the garden, you choose and take an action, or choose not to take one that doesn’t make you feel good. You find a subject that always interested you and educate yourself on all there is to know about it.. You take action and find out what careers, businesses and professions require that skill that you had naturally. With that in mind, you start knocking at the door. You speak with confidence and enthusiasm about your abilities and yourself; you show your passion and how it will benefit any chosen field that is appropriate for that skill. It could be a creative endeavor, artistic in nature, or like me, in service of others, for everyone, it is different. It is there even in your childhood. Find it!
Along the way…life intervenes and we must do many things that we don’t like, and that is what maturity is all about.. However, we can always return to that place. And set goals and plans to do what it is we love. “ As the song goes… kiss today goodbye, and point me to tomorrow.”
